Britain has named broccoli its favourite veg, and it's wrong
(Picture: Nick Ansell/PA Wire)

Broccoli is Britain’s favourite vegetable, according to a new survey.

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The study, commissioned by Diabetes UK, sees it beat trendier veg like kale (Britain’s least favourite veggie, apparently) to the top spot. Much of broccoli’s improved PR is down to its rebrand as a ‘superfood’.

This quite simply will not do.

Yeah, yeah, so broccoli is a source of vitamins C, A and K, calcium, fibre and a bunch of cancer fighting compounds.

But there’s a reason why it was the gross vegetable of choice in kids’ cartoons and adverts. It’s just so…boring.

A good vegetable divides opinion and starts conversations. Just look at the humble, hated sprout – some evangelise for it, others would never touch it. It’s edgy. It’s controversial. It’s better than broccoli.

Britain has named broccoli its favourite veg, and it's wrong
The potato, which is better than broccoli. (Picture: Getty Images)

The full list is of people’s favourite vegetables is, quite frankly, abysmal:

Britons’ favourite vegetables:

  • Broccoli
  • Sweetcorn
  • Tomato
  • Mushroom
  • Carrot
  • Pea
  • Brussels
  • Cauliflower
  • Asparagus
  • Green bean

Sweetcorn, objectively the very worst vegetable of all, at number two.

Tomatoes, which are only good on pizza or in juice form in a Bloody Mary, in third place.

Cauliflower – the actually good version of broccoli, mostly because it normally comes covered in cheese – flounders at number eight.

There is no justice. Peas and carrots – again, veg that suffers from a distinct lack of personality – above flavourful sprouts and asparagus. Despicable.

But there is some good news: we can now reveal, for the first time, an objective list of the very best vegetables.

My definitive (correct) ranking of vegetables:

  • Does ‘potato’ count as a vegetable? Probably. So: potato
  • Brussels Sprouts
  • Potato
  • Potato
  • Spring onions
  • Cauliflower
  • Potato
  • Asparagus
  • Potato
  • Potato

Thank you for listening.